Strange Memories of a Different Hotel Room

I'm on the East Coast for work. I've checked in to my hotel, and just wrapped up a meeting with my team in Asia. As I sit here at 1:00AM, I'm reminded of a different hotel, back in Texas. About a year ago, I tried to "hook up" with a semi-friend that I know from the Internet, and have hung out with once or twice. A buddy of his was in town for the night, and they invited me over to their hotel room. The only rule: "No pants allowed after the door closes." Since I was in my "Don't say 'No'" phase, I accepted, showered, and drove over.

It was a strange experience. His buddy seemed to instinctively want to prove himself to me. We sat around in our underwear and t-shirts, and talked about work (of all things) for an hour. He even showed a prototype (supposedly secret) laptop design to me, opening the case and showing off the components and specs.

After I failed to rise to his "challenges" as alpha geek, the three of us squeezed into his / their king bed, and just laid there, side-by-side for hours, talking, comparing notes on past boyfriends, and (in general) not having sex.

After an hour or two, I started to "gently caress" the guy I knew (he was in the middle), and he responded in kind. Unfortunately none of us had manned up enough to actually make the first move and "do anything."

I left an hour or two later around 4AM with two things: 1. Blue Balls, and 2. The knowledge that I can never, ever have fun in a casual "hotel room hookup," which is useful.

Unfortunately, this hotel room, while nice, reminds me of that night so long ago. :-/

Valentine's Day

This is my first Valentine's Day in a real, actual relationship. I like DJ. A lot.

A month ago, I booked a reservation at a nifty restaurant downtown. Weeks ago I bought him some (god awful in my opinion) sunglasses from a designer that he fancies. Two weeks ago, I ordered fresh, warm cookies (with two ice-cold milks!) to be delivered to his office, with a small note and a heart-shaped balloon. Last week, I actually tried to buy him some James Tudor underwear that he mentioned he liked in an off-hand comment months ago, but LA Jock just cancelled my order. :-(

I fear that I've gone a bit too far.

xkcd: "Valentine Dilemma"

Update: SHIT. I just realized that I haven't gotten him a card.

Denting the Universe

I asked for and received a Kindle for Christmas. This is important for two reasons: 1. The Kindle is magical as it simply falls away as you read a given book, and 2. I just flew 16,198 miles in seven days which meant I needed some reading material.*

On a layover, I finished the witty and charming "When You Are Engulfed in Flames," and found myself frantically searching for more reading fodder ("kindling?") for my 14.75 hour trans-Pacific flight. Literally in a panic, as the door of the plane is closing, I skimmed the best sellers list on Amazon, and landed on the biography of Steve Jobs. I've yet to put it down.

One of the points that continues to arise throughout the early part of Steve's and Apple's story is a drive to make a difference. Quoting Steve:

“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?”

 I think I can make a dent in the universe. I don't know how, yet, but I think I can. Is this unnatural, or unfounded? Is it presumptuous? Pretentious? Naive? My parents raised me with the belief that I could do anything, or go anywhere. I'm certainly going places; I just picked out a pretty nice apartment in Taipei, and will be living there with an expense account for a while. I used to think, though, that I could be CEO of my company, or President of the United States. At some point in the last six years, I lost that belief, and that confidence. I'm not sure why or when that happened.

I suppose this is simply "being realistic."A friend and colleague blames my management, and organization. He says I should "get out now-now-NOW." If I "got out," though, I wouldn't be able to move to Taiwan. Of course other organizations probably wouldn't nickel and dime me as this area has (I'm still bitter about the financial package). I think, dear readers, that I've grown bored. I have the bandwidth, time, and (possibly) the skill to start a company. I've realized that my current company needs me more than I need it, so I've decided to stop kowtowing to illogical, irrational, or simply stupid managerial requests. I'm uprooting my life and moving to Asia. It'll be a tremendous success, or a tremendous failure, but it'll be fun.

I've chatted with several disjoint groups of colleagues from work, and all are interested in starting a company. Unfortunately very few have the foresight to create and market a product that consumers didn't know they needed.

My background is fairly-diverse. I'm a mixed race gay guy. I'm a furry. I have two degrees, and a kick ass boyfriend. I'm a hacker. I'm a geek, and was even a band nerd, growing up.  I speak 1.5 languages, and will be rounding that up to an even "2" when I finish my course on Mandarin. One of my parents is a naturalized citizen, and I've set foot on four continents. I vaguely-hope that something in this mixture of experiences, traits, and skills will produce that illusive spark of an idea, worthy of a company.

I want to have a demo ready for SXSW 2013. Of what, I have no clue. Time to find out if I can dent the universe.



* This is an average speed, by the way, of 96.4 miles per hour over 168 hours. :-)

January Braindump (Christmas, Vacations, Work, and Sex)

I'm still alive, dear reader, and my assignment to Asia's been confirmed. My boyfriend's awesome, and work (domestically) is pretty good. Work with our new development team continues to be exhausting.

Stuck @ Christmas
I visited my parents over Christmas, and had a "normal" good time. Nothing extraordinarily good or bad happened, but it certainly felt like we were going through the motions. I was marking time, waiting for my return trip to Austin, and to DJ. In fact I spent about as much time worrying about which gift is best for him as I did for my parents.

"Staycation" with DJ
The night I flew in, he came over, and we exchanged gifts. I gave him some socks, and a pair of center-stage tickets to a play that intrigued both of us. He gave me some shirts, a nice bottle of cologne from one of my favorite brands, a scarf, and a mystery surprise gift that required that I pack an overnight bag. He gave way better gifts than I did. That usually doesn't happen.* :-)

The next day, his surprise kicked off. He showed up that afternoon, grabbed my dufflebag, and kicked off our "staycation" by checking us in a room at a historic Austin landmark. Our room was at the top of the hotel, and overlooked the Hill Country West of Austin. We spent the afternoon cuddling on the bed (they had a fur comforter!) and settled in to watch football.

Our Victorian-era hotel, set against the backdrop of modern Austin

A room like ours. We found multiple uses for it. ;-)

Just around halftime, a knock came at the door. DJ had ordered chocolate-dipped strawberries and champagne, to kick off our night. We spent the rest of the evening roaming downtown Austin, from bar to bar, and restaurant to restaurant watching football, enjoying excellent food, and each others company.**

This was one of the best gifts that I've received so far.

Work is... work.
I got a top 10% rating, which is unheard of after getting a promotion. I've earned multiple innovation bonuses (mostly writing patents), and realized just how remarkable the team my current team in Austin truly is.

Work in Asia continues to be stressful and frustrating. I feel like I need to redefine "success" for this job, to avoid being unhappy. Inc has an interesting article on this very topic. It tends to mirror the same basic premise as "The Paradox of Choice," which states that we can control our stress and happiness levels by changing our expectations as humans.

Off to Asia
I'll write more later (this has consumed much of my free time), but my assignment to Asia has actually been confirmed. For real. I managed to negotiate a househunting trip in four days. My management is still being cheap. They've nearly cancelled the assignment multiple times. They're still short-changing me. I'll still make money, but I'll be making about $20,000 less than the other assignees from our division.

DJ is excited for me, but I know that this will put stress on our relationship. We're planning to keep it going while I'm away, and I've already started looking for ways to come back to see him, and ways for him to fly out and see me.

Oddly-enough, I'm moving in 30 days, and KNOW I should be busy. Unfortunately I simply don't know what to do, or where to start, so each and every weekend has been lazy, and possibly wasted. I feel like I should get out and see my friends, or fix up my house, or sort through my possessions. I've tried to do all three simultaneously and failed, so far.

Sex
Would it surprise you to know that there's still one last closet that I need to come out of? When I became good at cybersex, I discovered that I like a certain kind of roleplay (I feel uncomfortable talking about it here, which is strange, since I know only two of you IRL). I need to tell DJ, since I'm not 100% giving myself to him when we roll around on the bed together. Combine this with the fact that I always "top," and I'm sometimes unfulfilled. He says that he won't top, because he's a physically smaller guy (in multiple ways) than I am. I don't want to bring his size up, because that makes him self-conscious.

How do you broach the subject of "kinky" sex?


* In my defense, before Christmas he basically told me (multiple times) that he was giving me a scarf, so I calibrated (and recalibrated again) my dollar figures to avoid giving him too much. It turns out he did the same thing, in the opposite direction.

** Vacation sex is fun.

Gym Etiquitte for a Gay Couple Working Out Together?

"Nudist Locker Room" by Olivander

DJ invited me to his spin class this today. We'll get to the gym, get changed, and then work out until we're both glazed in mansweat. Is a slap on the ass encouragement, or foreplay? Should I wear my jockstrap, or briefs? If briefs, 2XIST or Fruit of the Loom? Does one cover up, or let it all hang out?

I've only been in a public shower / locker room a few times in my life, and usually timed my trips to avoid crowds. Today, we'll hit the lunch rush and that'll be impossible.

Time to learn Austin's locker room etiquette.